Bug's Life: October 2009

To say that I have been stressed over the last six months is an understatement. But now that the wedding is over and things are calming down, I still have what I feel is an unhealthy level of anxiety. I am not unhappy. Actually, it’s the exact opposite. I feel like things are finally in order in my life. I am finally married to a wonderful man, have a beautiful daughter, a good home, a job that pays the bills….so what the hell is wrong with me? It’s strange. I feel like any little thing can send me over the edge. Small issues feel like the end of the world. It’s just not a good way to feel. I worry and stress and worry some more. Every.Single.Day.

I have had this feeling before. And it didn’t end up good. I let it go on too long and went into a full blown depression, missed a month of work, the whole deal.
I don’t want to go through that again. I guess its time to make a doctors appointment and get on some type of medication for a while. At least until I feel like I am balanced out again. I hate staying on that type of medication for extended periods of time, but something has to give here.

Sorry for the depressing post, but I had to get that out.

Yup, its true. The wedding is over and it is back to reality for me. Its kind of sad in a way. Don’t get me wrong. Im glad that all of the planning and stress is over. But all that work for a few hours and then its OVER. Just like that. The wedding went great. Even though the florist messed up my flowers, the DJ messed up my music and my flower girl and the groom’s mom and sister arrived….about 5 minutes before the ceremony started. It was STILL perfect. So, lets explore these disasters one at a time shall we?

After a wonderful morning of pastries and champagne at the salon, my mom and I headed over to the florist to pick up my flowers. We actually were supposed to do that on the way to the venue a little later, but I insisted that we go pick up the flowers right then. THANK GOD we did that. I had a total of five bridesmaids. There were only 3 bouquets. There was only one boutinerre for the 2 dads that were there. So, I attempted to stay calm as I dug through my purse for my original receipt. She really didn’t give me a hard time, but it took her over an hour to make the additional bouquets. And an hour on your wedding day is a LOT of time. But it got done. And the flowers were beautiful.

The DJ just totally screwed up my music. No other way around it. My bridesmaids were supposed to walk in to one song and I was supposed to walk in to Ave Maria (the Beyonce version). Well…He played that song for everyone to walk in to. Not really a disaster though. But THEN, when he was announcing everyone after we had done pictures, he called my mom David (Her name is DAWN!!) LOL. And then, he played the wrong song for the Father/Daughter dance. Ugh. Oh well. Those little things were overlooked because I was caught up in the fact that I had just gotten married to the most wonderful man in the world.

The groom’s mom and sister and niece (my flower girl) were supposed to be there at 3:00 since the wedding started at 4:30. They arrived at 4:25. I was panicking. Apparently they got caught by a train and got lost. But that worked out too.

Its amazing how all the little details that you stress about before the wedding, really aren’t that important on the actual day of the big event. I didn’t even think twice about all of the little favor boxes that we spent hours tying ribbon to. I have come to realize that I have the best family in the world. Even if they are all bat shit crazy, they love me to pieces and would do anything for me and for that I am so thankful.

I am still waiting for the professional pictures to come in. It should be sometime this week. She did send me a sneak peek though. Here is the only picture I have back so far from her